For 14 years, I've been a Verizon customer. When I decided to upgrade my iPhone, I thought, "This will be simple." Little did I know I was about to participate in Verizon's newest, unadvertised feature: a multi-day customer service escape room. The Premise: The game begins with a simple objective: receive a phone you've already paid for. The first hurdle? A delivery policy so rigid it assumes you have no job, family, or general need to leave your house during daylight hours. A clever little paradox to kick things off. Gameplay Loop: After failing the initial delivery quest, you're introduced to the core mechanic: The Live Chat Gauntlet. Here, you'll meet a revolving cast of at least seven unique characters with names like Mia, Emmy, and Adi. The goal is to narrate your entire saga from the beginning to each new agent. They will express profound sympathy, promise this will be your "last chat," and then promptly disconnect, teleporting you back to the start to face a new challenger. It’s like Groundhog Day, but with more scripted apologies. Side-Quests & Broken Promises: The narrative is rich with intriguing subplots. My favorite was the "Expedited 24-Hour Cancellation" quest which, spoiler alert, did not resolve in 24 hours. This was immediately followed by the surprise sequel, "The Trade-In Cancellation You Never Knew You Needed." Each quest promises a final resolution that shimmers just out of reach, a mirage in the customer service desert. The Final Boss: After days of grinding, you finally reach an agent who vows to end your suffering. They'll confirm your details, claim to be placing a new order for in-store pickup, and then... vanish. Poof. Gone. Replaced by a simple chatbot, the final guardian of the Verizon fortress, leaving you with no phone and the quiet hum of your own rising blood pressure. Final Verdict: As a mobile service provider, Verizon is usually fine. But as an interactive, real-time strategy game designed to test the absolute limits of human patience, it is a masterpiece of frustration. It has now been six days since this ordeal began, and there is still no resolution. I have no new phone, but I do have a fantastic story and a newfound appreciation for the simple things in life, like a customer service process that actually works.