Teen dating apps: The upfront, no-snooping guide for today’s parent

When I asked parents about teen dating apps, most of them said the same thing: I think something’s happening, but I don’t really know.

They’re forming romantic connections online, but not in the way parents might think. It’s happening in gaming chats, social media threads and the everyday spaces where teens already feel connected.

That’s one reason the experts say the real risks aren’t the dramatic predator stories we all fear, says clinical psychologist Dr. Emily Edlynn. The common risks in teen dating scenarios today may include large age gaps, oversharing online, sexting and dating violence.

“It’s important to make sure your child knows how to spot and navigate red flags like requests for secrecy and pressure for sexting,” she advises.

Ready to talk with your teen about it? Here’s what experts say you need to know.

Are teens using dating apps?

Recent data shows that almost 25% of teens under 18 have tried a dating app, and about 10 percent of dating teens say they’ve met a romantic interest online. Most of these interactions happen on platforms not designed for dating, though. While some teens can work around the age minimum on popular dating apps, many more use social media like Snapchat, Instagram, Discord or “friend-matching” platforms such as Yubo and MeetMe, which don’t require users to be 18.

Your teen may not be swiping left or right, but they may be forming close connections through shared interests, like chatting with another player in a favorite game. Common hobbies and constant communication can quickly feel like something more.

How to talk with teens about dating apps

“Ask questions about teens in general instead of your child specifically,” Edlynn says, “for an entry into a discussion that feels less threatening.” Most teens will shut down if they feel judged or cornered, so a calm, open conversation is one of the best tools you have. For example:

• “I’m so curious: How many kids your age are dating online? What have you noticed? What do you think about online dating?”
• “What’s it like (or what would it be like) for you to date someone without having met them in person?”
• “What feels good to you about this situation and is there anything you feel worried about?”

How to use the Verizon Family Plus app if your teen is dating

One of the best things you can do is show them how you’re using the app. Be clear about what Verizon Family Plus can and can’t see on their phones. For example, the app gives context about how they’re using their phones, not the content of their chats. Teens are far more open when they know you’re not secretly reading their messages or combing through private conversations.

What can Verizon Family Plus can show you? A high-level picture of their digital life:

• Screen time patterns
• App and website categories
• Location check-ins
• When and for how long they used an app

From there, you can sit down together and set expectations that feel fair on both sides. For example:

• Agree on what you’re monitoring and why. For example, “I’m watching app categories and late-night screen time because I want you to be safe.”
• Show them the dashboard. Transparency builds trust. Teens relax when they can see exactly what insights you’re seeing on the home dashboard.
• Create a slow fade-out plan. As they show good judgment, you loosen controls. That gives them something to work toward and reinforces digital independence.
• Explain the deal-breakers. Hidden phones, secret accounts or bypassing settings have clear consequences. Teens need those lines spelled out up front.

There is no way to eliminate all risks associated with dating and apps for teens, but tools like Verizon Family Plus can give parents a better understanding of their teens’ digital life.

“The parent-child relationship is the biggest influence on a child staying safe in the online world,” says Edlynn. “When a child trusts that they can talk to their parents about problems online, that allows parents opportunities to teach and coach skills. Those skills are what ultimately keep kids the safest.”

We got you. You’re there for them with Verizon Family. Verizon’s there for you—including our 3-year price lock*.

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